A DEDICATION TO MY DEAR FATHER

1925 - 2014

My dear loving and well-loved dad,
You had lived so cleanly like a fine lad.

Though now we're all naturally sad,

Admiration for you comforts us a tad.

Thanks for everything we ever had.

Your loyalty to us a constant, not a fad.

You used to work so hard, as if mad. 

That's why our lives were never bad.

Writing your quiet story on my iPad,

It's like a great novel still unread.

Your life's fullness makes me glad,

To it, there's nothing more I could add!

ANTON CASEY CASE: A RASHOMON ANALYSIS

Prologue

The Rashomon effect refers to contradictory interpretations of a common event by different people.

Part One:

Anton Casey: 
Picture 1 - "Daddy, where is your car & who are all these poor people?" (apparently asked by his son while traveling on an MRT train)

Picture 2 - "Ahhhhhhhh reunited with my baby. Normal service can resume, once I have washed the stench of public transport off me FFS!" (his son pictured waving from his silver Porsche)

Worst possible interpretation: A deliberate contemptuous insult calculated to belittle poor people in Singapore by an arrogant white foreigner whose bad behavior followed the precedents set by Oliver Desbarres, Juerg Buergin and Robert Stephen Dahlberg.

Best possible interpretation: An unfortunate and unfunny joke gone horribly wrong because his bad judgement had prevented him from realizing that Singaporeans will not be able to 'get' the joke due to cultural differences.


Part Two:

What followed were widespread online condemnations, counter-insults, threats to him and his family, loss of his job, a quick retreat into hiding in Perth and being mocked in a budget airline advertisement.

Worst possible interpretation: Singapore society has become xenophobic, has a hair-trigger climate of political correctness, is highly intolerant of criticism and tends to react disproportionately to the slightest hint of disrespect by exacting a very malevolent brand of vindictiveness. We lack a sense of humor and by gloating and celebrating the punishment of the fallen, we have collectively shown our deficit in kindness, graciousness and empathy.

Best possible interpretation: As a society, we have matured and become united in our national spirit such that when we sense that our more disadvantaged members are being attacked, our collective empathy for them drives us to respond in a stout manner. It is to send a message that guests in our country who misbehave are never welcome. Perhaps, in retrospect, we should try to cultivate a more forgiving spirit and be more generous and magnanimous in our victory over our naysayers.

Epilogue

It would be most helpful if we can assume the Best Possible Interpretations of the actions of both parties in this affair.

Hopefully, this will lead to healing and closure to this unpleasant episode.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUHAMMAD ALI!
17 January 1942

Happy birthday, my handsome guy!

O, how you floated like a butterfly,

But your punches stung like a bee.

That's what really impressed me.

With every solid punch you throw,

Ever weaker Frazier were to grow.

Even Foreman couldn't cope,

With your tactic "Rope-a-Dope"!

As every opponent was made to flee,

A great champion you'll always be.

We'll remember you just like this,

Cos' you defined what greatness is.

AN UNFITTING TRIBUTE TO THE NEW YEAR
(Inspired by last night's alcohol)

Only now waking up at noon,

Realizing 2014 had come too soon.

Literally caught with my pants down,

I know  I'm just  New Year's clown.

Like being part of a bad cartoon,

It's even hard acting like a goon.

So, I stumble my way into town,

Totally clueless like Charlie Brown.

Acting like I'm over the moon.

When I'm a grouch in a lampoon,

Stubbornly wearing 2013's gown,

While missing the new year's crown!

TIME FOR SOME SMOOTH JAZZ FOR THE HOLIDAY

1. The Soul Of Smooth Jazz

     

This is sure to bring your spirits up!

2. Best Smooth Grooves Soft Soul & Smooth Jazz

 

And this one to smooth out your nerves!

HOW TO LOVE LIKE THE GODS

In 1960, C S Lewis wrote a book called "The Four Loves" to explore the nature of love in its four guises as denoted by the four Greek words for love, namely Storge (or affection) - love for family members; Philia (or friendship) - love between friends; Eros (or romance) - being in love; and Agape (or charity) - unconditional love.

Only the last two, Eros and Agape may be applicable to a love relationship between an unrelated man and woman. Traditionally, Eros is thought to be the Greek concept of love and Agape the Christian form of love, though both concepts agree that love is not blind.

My contention is that we should move beyond the erotic form of love, and start embracing agapic love for our girlfriend, lover or wife.

Erotic love is characterized by 5 main features:
1. It is acquisitive in that it longs for the possession of the object of love.
2. It is a purely human form of love.
3. It is motivated by the perceived value of the object. We love someone because we value her.  The underlying assumption is that it is impossible to love someone whom we value negatively, and should we realize that she does not have the value we thought she had, we would likely cease to love her!
4. It is a self-centered form of love in that the aim of loving someone is to secure our own happiness.
5. Our assessment of the worthiness of our love object can be modified or corrected over time and therefore there is a built-in inclination for erotic love to change.

In contrast, agapic love also has 5, but different characteristics:
1. It is originally a divine form of love where only the Christian God is purportedly capable of providing such love.
2. It is spontaneous and unconditional.
3. It is not motivated by whatever prior value the object of your love possesses, but it is the act of loving that person that bestows value on her.  It's the reversal of erotic love in that we value someone because we love her. It creates value in the object of your love because the act of loving her makes her worthy of being loved.
4. It is unselfish because the objective is not to secure your own happiness but hers.
5. Since it is not subjected to change, it lasts forever.

I think agapic love is within the reach of human beings and, in fact, essential for a long-lasting and enduring love. As your lover ages, loses her beauty, her wits or even her mind and become a cranky and out-of-shape woman, it would not make you lose your love for you as it was not dependent on those qualities in the first place. So, be like the gods and love unconditionally!

STEVIE WONDER'S GREATEST ALBUM

SONGS IN THE KEY OF LIFE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FBn4m2VeKE

HOW TO HAVE A HAPPY MARRIAGE

If one does an Internet search for the rules for a happy marriage, something like this will be found: 

12 Rules For a Happy Marriage

1. Never be angry at the same time as your spouse.

2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.

3. Yield to the wishes of the other if you can't think of a better reason for doing anything.

4. If you have to make a choice between making your self or your mate look good - choose your mate.

5. If you feel you must criticize, do so lovingly.

6. Never bring up a mistake of the past.

7. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.

8. Never let the day end without saying at least one complimentary thing to your partner.

9. Never meet without an affectionate welcome.

10. Never go to bed mad.

11. When you made a mistake, talk it out and ask for forgiveness.

12. Remember, it takes two to make an argument. The one who is wrong is the one who will be doing most of the talking.

However, I find such a list distinctly unhelpful. A couple trying to conduct their marriage according to these commandments seems to be just following these rules without understanding at all what a happy marriage entails. Furthermore, most of the items in the list appear to teach us how to quarrel correctly rather than how not to quarrel in the first place!

So, I think the first key to a blissful marriage is to learn and acquire the essential elements of a healthy relationship. And the second key is to recognize and avoid the pitfalls that can lead to divorce.

FIRST KEY: MAINTAIN THE ESSENTIAL CHARACTERISTICS OF A HEALTHY MARRIAGE:

1. A perpetual romance. You should court each other continuously.

2. A sincere friendship. You should be courteous and kind to each other both in words and deeds. You should not try to dominate or bully, but to respect your partner as an equal. Remember to adopt a cheerful disposition towards him/her and care for his/her welfare.

3. An unguarded openness. Be ready to share everything and anything on your mind without fear of prejudice or of causing offense. On the receiving end, try not to take offense, but listen with understanding and empathy. Always communicate clearly and honestly. It helps if both parties have a good sense of humor. 

4. A complete trust. Trust that your partner's love for you is real and he/she will never do anything to betray your love for him/her. 

5. A common understanding. Be confident that you know what his/her preferences are and how he/she will react to events or circumstances.

6. A consistent love. Maintain a constant effort to enhance your partner's happiness.

SECOND KEY: AVOID THE PITFALLS OF AN UNHEALTHY MARRIAGE:

1. Beware of boredom. There is a danger that marital life can become routine and either party can become distracted with other potential love interests.  We must make repeated efforts to rekindle our love spark.

2. Prevent dissatisfaction with your partner's character or behavior.  Frequent and intense disagreements are the symptoms of such dissatisfaction. We should learn to accept our differences.

3. Know that a lack of empathy can lead to resentment. We should understand the frustrations of workplace pressures, the stress of parental duties, the physical demands of home maintenance and the essential obligations towards our in-laws as felt by either party; and help each other to overcome these challenges.

4.  Be mindful that the cancer of distrust can lead to detachment and solitude within a marital relationship. Mutual suspicion is a sure killer of emotional intimacy.  Take the step of unconditional trust in your partner and he/she will reciprocate.

5.  We should be aware of our partner's expectations in the marriage. Ignorance or indifference towards your partner's unfulfilled expectations can lead to demoralizing disappointment. So, take the time to find out and fulfill your partner's expectations.

6.  Preoccupation with work or children can result in neglect of your partner.  In order not to take your partner's love for granted, make daily efforts to appreciate his/her love and seek ways to please him/her.

So, use the first key to open the treasure box of a blissful marriage; and use the second key to lock away the dungeon of divorce forever!

 

ARE WE ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE?

The Milky Way Galaxy

Is there life only on Earth and nowhere else? 

This question appears to have been convincingly answered by Berkeley astronomers recently when they analyzed data from the Kepler Space Telescope. 

The Kepler Space Telescope was launched in 2009 and is currently orbiting the sun. Over the last 4 years, it took half-hourly photographs of 150,000 stars in our Milky Way galaxy.  From this data, the astronomers noted that about one in five stars may have a planet that is neither too hot nor too cold, but just right, with the potential for life.  This is in the so-called Goldilocks Zone. 

This suggests that our galaxy has not just one planet (Earth) with life, but there are about 40 billion such planets! Of those 40 billion planets, 11 billion of them actually orbit stars similar to our sun.

If that is the number in our galaxy alone, the amount of planetary life in this Universe must be incalculable!

In fact, the closest Earth-sized and Earth-like planet has been estimated to be only 12 light years away! I shall call this sister planet of ours, "Earthalee"! Wow, in the vastness of the Universe, Earth and Earthalee are like two little girls walking hand-in-hand, giggling in wonder at this huge cosmic crowd, full of noise and action!

It's a momentous occasion to celebrate, for we have never been alone after all!

ART DECO 2013 <> 3102 OCED TRA

"Toilet Tile Psychedelia"

ArT DeC0 20Thirteen

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