THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

Is happiness the most important thing in life?  If so, how can we have more of it?  Most people think that happiness is something intangible and is something that just happens to us.  We can't seem to achieve it if we aim directly for it.  Be the best that you can be, and happiness will come to you.  Or so, they say.

Yet, there are many thinkers, philosophers, scientists, psychologists and self-proclaimed experts who think happiness is a concept and can be analyzed and an endeavor that can be conquered.  They have come up with concrete formulas which I'll list below:


Magic Formulas

1.  Happiness level = genetic/biological Set point + Conditions of your life + Voluntary activities that you do
(H = S + C + V).  By Martin Seligman.


2.  Two steps to happiness.  Step one: choose to feel happy.  Step two: use happiness actions to create your happiness.  By Julian Kalmar.

3.  Happiness = pleasure + engagement + meaning.  By psychologists.

4.  Happiness = health + money + social life + meaning (in descending order of priority).  By Scott Adams.

5.  Three simple steps to sustained happiness: one, be aware of what you do; two, be aware of what you say; and three, be aware of what you think.  By Andrea DeBell.

6.  Happiness is proportional to the Resources at your command and inversely proportional to your Needs (H = R/N).  By Mahatma Gandhi.


7.  Happiness = (level of Gratitude +  consistency with your own personal Definition of Happiness + how much you Contribute to others + success in Relationships, obeying Rules, and lack of Regrets.  H = (G + DH + C + 3R) ÷ 6.  By Jimmy DeMesa. 

8.  Happiness =  Equanimity + Wonder + Exhilaration + Love.  By Gavriel Shaw. 

9.  Happiness = Decision - Obstacle + Choice.  By Lionel Ketchian.

10. Happiness = 50% genetic + 10% life circumstances and 40% self control. By Sonya Lyubomirsky.

11. Happiness = robust health.

12. Happiness = acceptance. 

A Simpler Approach

Perhaps, for those who are fond of flow charts, this one here will simplify things:

Daniel Lee's 2 Laws of Happiness
 
And here's my contribution to the world:

1.  Happiness is achieved once you are able to reconcile the apparent contradiction between a relentless pursuit of perfection and an easy readiness to accept imperfection.


2.  What produces happiness for a human being is unique for that particular person.  Therefore, the best route to happiness is for an individual to construct a list of past happy personal experiences; and to replicate them as far as possible whenever such similar happy feelings are desired.  There is no magic bullet for everyone!

THIS BEAUTIFUL WORLD

In my opinion, these are ten of the most beautiful places in the world:

1. Anse Source D'argent, Seychelles
2. Cala Luna, Sardinia
3. Krabi, Thailand
4. Bryce Canyon
5. Sand dunes in Tunisia 
6. Volcano Paricutin, Mexico
7. The Great Barrier Reef
8. Nigaloo Reef, Western Australia
9. Silvertip Golf Course, Canmore, Alberta, Canada
10. The Maldives

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE 9TH AUGUST 2011!

WHAT IS LOVE?

Types of love:

1. Romantic love - love between lovers
2. Platonic love - love between friends
3. Interpersonal love - love between family members
4. Impersonal love - love for abstracts, eg country, art, knowledge or objects, eg car, favorite shirt

What true love is not:

1. The fulfillment of a need to be loved in return.
2. A perception of being with a person who is perfect.
3. Wanting to be with the perceived lover all the time.
4. Developing a dependence on the perceived lover.
5. A neglect and deterioration of all other friendships and relationships.
6. A relationship with a tendency to induce jealousy.
7. A possessiveness of the perceived lover.
8. A relationship that is liable to deteriorate with time and distance.

Psychological definition of true romantic love:

1. To love is to accept the lover for the way he or she is.
2. Loving is an appreciation of the qualities of the lover.
3. To love is to have the desire to give happiness to the lover.
4. To love is a deliberate choice and decision.
5. Loving is a promise of a long-term commitment.

The scientific basis of romantic love:

1.  Love is a universal human emotion positively selected by evolution as an adaptive strategy for survival and reproduction of the human species.             

2.  Love is the result of hormonal changes in our brains.  When a person perceives love, there is an initial rise in the level of the stress hormone cortisol.  The feeling of attraction to the partner is associated with higher activities of dopamine and norepinephrine.  Some areas of the brain like the anterior cingulate cortex, cerebellum, insula, posterior hippocampus, putamen, caudate nucleus, and ventral tegmental area become activated. This is similar to activations seen with cocaine and opioid induced euphoria.  Yet, some other areas like the posterior cingulate gyrus, amygdala, and right prefrontal, parietal, and middle temporal cortices become de-activated.  As with people who suffer from obsessive compulsive disorders, the calming hormone serotonin is lowered.  Love has opposite effects on testosterone on the sexes, lowering it in men but raising it in women.  In effect, this hormonal convergence in testosterone levels make both partners more alike in terms of aggression and the sex drive.  These changes persist for only the first one to two years of being in love.  Thereafter, the neuropeptides oxytocin and vasopressin become elevated, signalling a change in the nature of the perception from one of euphoria to that of attachment.  During the experience of love, neural circuits that are normally associated with critical social assessment of other people are suppressed, appearing to justify the common accusation that love is blind.

A final analysis

The best psychological definition of love is one of an unconditional selfless commitment.

Yet, the scientific assessment of love appears to suggest that it is a highly stressful obsession or compulsion driven by a euphoric addiction and made possible by a temporary suspension of social judgement. The initial compatibility in sex drive between the two lovers evolves into a more mature relationship when it is sustained more by a sense of stable attachment than that of sexual attraction.

The contradiction between these two definitions is probably the reason why love can give us great joy and great anguish, often at the same time.

Though we may hate to think so, it is highly likely that love is merely a deception employed by Mother Nature to  motivate us to reproduce and to ensure the survival of the human species.  Rather than some special or mysterious force, it seems to be just another biologically necessary human drive like hunger or the fight-or-flight response.