A UNIVERSAL CURE FOR ALL OF LIFE'S PROBLEMS

 

"Of all existing things some are in our power, and others are not in our power. In our power are thought, impulse, will to get and will to avoid, and, in a word, everything which is our own doing. Things not in our power include the body, property, reputation, office, and, in a word, everything which is not our own doing. Things in our power are by nature free, unhindered, untrammelled; things not in our power are weak, servile, subject to hindrance, dependent on others. Remember then that if you imagine that what is naturally slavish is free, and what is naturally another's is your own, you will be hampered, you will mourn, you will be put to confusion, you will blame gods and men; but if you think that only your own belongs to you, and that what is another's is indeed another's, no one will ever put compulsion or hindrance on you, you will blame none, you will accuse none, you will do nothing against your will, no one will harm you, you will have no enemy, for no harm can touch you."  - Epictetus (AD 55 – AD 135), a Greek sage and philosopher   

Epictetus' basic belief is that all external events are predestined and beyond our control. However, we are responsible for and in full control of our own actions.  We become angry, upset, distressed, unhappy, depressed and anxious because we try to control what is uncontrollable.  In our confused state of mind, we forget to focus our efforts on what that is within our power to control, thereby aggravating whatever bad situations we are in.

I find this advice particularly helpful to my patients:  

Divide all your problems into 2 categories.  Category A Problems are defined as those whose solutions are within your reach and control. If so, make full efforts to solve them.  If you fail to solve them, it's really your fault and you should be upset because your failure is due to insufficient effort on your part.

On the other hand Category B Problems are those whereby the solutions lie with some other persons or agencies; whatever they are, their resolution is not within your reach.  Nothing you do here is going to make any difference. So, you should accept the situation and remain happy because you are not responsible for the impasse.

In the final analysis, the only way to happiness is to avoid the suffering brought about by the worries about things which are not within our control or beyond the power of our will!