DEFINING THE UNDEFINABLE

Part 2

WHAT IS LOVE?

Many people think that love is an inexplicable and mysterious feeling that you have for another person. It seems that when you love him or her, you just know it; without knowing how or why.

I think a little differently. I think love is a spontaneous attraction or disposition towards a person whose mere presence makes you happy. I think love can be explained and can be recognized and understood, but it must be defined in the context of a relationship. Loving a thing or an object is diametrically different. So, in a loving relationship, you will find at least these seven features:

(1) You have a natural fondness for that person, a fondness not dependent on any specific quality or characteristic. 

(2) You accept him/her the way he/she is and you will never try to change him/her to fit your preference.

(3) You have genuine respect for his/her freedom and opinions and you will never try to dominate, override or disregard his/her free will and autonomy.

(4) You appreciate him/her as someone special and treasure him/her above everyone else.

(5) You are naturally kind and helpful towards him/her and you will do everything in your power to protect, satisfy and ensure his/her happiness.

(6) Loving someone does not entail possessing him/her.

(7) Your love for someone is not dependent or conditional on him/her loving you back.

If any one of these features are missing, it is possible that you don't really love him/her.

Lastly, must love be forever? ........... sadly, no! Love can fade. Love can be lost. Love can disappear. And, like everything else, love can die.